Easter Sunday

This morning when I arrived at Park Terrace, I found Sam in the dining room, parked in front of the large screen T.V. watching a priest talk about the meaning of Easter. The T.V.'s are always extremely loud, and this morning was no exception. I took Sam into her room where it was nice and quiet, and she already had a lot on her mind and needed to talk. The subject today though was God, spirituality, Catholicism, Judaism and that was just the beginning. Sam was extremely emotional and was struggling with what has happened to her, the meaning of life and God. She talked about feeling helpless and through her tears told me that she loves God and wanted to go to Church to pray. This is the new Sam speaking and it will take me awhile to adjust and to get to know and understand this newly emerging person. Sam was also struggling with the fact that I am Jewish and she is Catholic, and I finally came to understand that to her this meant I would not want to go into a Catholic Church with her to pray. In trying to comfort Sam I told her first that we could pray right where we were, in her room (this of course is the Jew in me, the nomad, running, praying and making a "temple" wherever you happen to end up). Sam liked this idea. I also told her that I would try to find a person of God to come listen to her, so she could have some spiritual guidance. She also liked this idea as well. Sam then started talking about how much she loved me and that her love for me was forever and very real. She repeated this to me in many different ways, over the course of an hour or so. We both managed to go through an entire box of tissues until we were interrupted by the nurse. Afterwards, I tried to change the subject with Sam, but not before she asked if I would give her the shirt I was wearing so that she could hold onto it when I wasn't there. I understood this sentiment exactly since I actually felt comforted by wearing her shirts when Sam was in the ICU and stepdown in the hospital. There are many reasons why we are together and so much in love. I did finally get her looking at the B&H catalogue and talking about photography. I also got her sketch pad out and the New York Times and the afternoon took a lighter turn. I will talk with her doctors tomorrow however, just to alert them to the fact that Sam's emotions are truly deepening. I am usually the first person to see this happening and it is helpful for all those working with Sam to know what she is experiencing, so they can better help her get through it.