Dreaming

When I arrived this afternoon, I found Sam in the Dining Hall, watching T.V. with a few other people. She looked like she had been crying, so I asked her if that was true and she answered in the affirmative. When I asked her if she wanted to tell me why she said "yes"... "I keep thinking I'm dreaming, but I just can't wake up". Leave it to Sam to be so insightful. Of course her comment made me start to tear up as well. I took her into the other room, so we could talk more privately, as Sam was actually crying a lot. She then told me that she had watched the movie that afternoon (they do show "matinees" most days) and she told me that it was a very sad movie and that she got all caught up in it. No one seemed to know what the movie was shown earlier in the day, but according to Sam it was a James Dean type movie. She said it made her think a lot about her family and got her sad. She also said that she did not like the shirt that she had on and could I please take it away from her, as she didn't want to wear it anymore. The shirt had been a gift from her mom, who had visited briefly with her father last weekend. The shirt definitely was not Sam, nor was the shiny running suit that her mom bought for her as well. I asked Sam if she wanted me to take away the running suit too, and she said "yes". Although the idea of "family" usually has good connotations, for Sam this is not the case. Last weekend's visit was traumatic and it seems to have triggered a lot of different emotions and memories for Sam, not all of them good. After dinner, Sam got recouperated and felt better as the evening progressed. By the time I left, she was quite content but exhausted, and ready for a good nights sleep.