She's My Girlfriend

It has been close to two weeks now that Sam has been in the new facility and there have been a lot of ups and downs. It has been hard for me to be away from Sam during the week and so I can't imagine how difficult it has been for her. We miss each other terribly, but for Sam it seems to be manifesting itself in her refusing to eat and crying a bit on/off. The staff did a full swallowing evaluation, and Sam does not have any issues with swallowing...which means the refusal to eat, is a more psychological problem. They are following up with her doctors and are already supplementing her food during the day . They had also asked me to give them a list of her favorite foods, etc. With this said however, Sam looks great and is eating a bit. Yesterday, for Thanksgiving day, I arrived with fresh cut strawberries, mozzarella sticks and pumpkin pie (a special treat from our friend Sian). Sam ate everything that morning and then proceeded to eat the entire Thanksgiving day meal...which even I thought was a lot. The CNA's were shocked...I told them just to continue to give Sam a Thanksgiving day meal every day and she will be just fine. The good thing is that the people at NE Center are terrific and they approached me with this problem moments before I approached them. They are really on top of things and are proactive which is a very different scenario from where she was before. The other problem at NECenter is that Sam has already fallen twice...once out of bed (she said she was just trying to shift her position to get more comfortable), and once in the dining hall, when she undid her seat belt...yes Sam is still alarmed, but they are much less restrictive here which means more possibilities for falls. Again, they are watching Sam, but that is actually my biggest worry for her at the moment. Fortunately she was not injured in the past two falls.

The good news is that the therapists and nurses and doctors are excellent and Sam is very happy overall with her classes. They know she is a photographer and have already incorporated that into her "homework " assignments.....Sam is to list camera parts and equipment. Yesterday she asked me to bring in some art books for her, which is the first time ever she has made such a request. That is a good sign. She also was so very happy to see me on Thursday morning...she couldn't stop kissing me at first and then just had a beaming smile all day long. She went around telling all the nurses and the CNA's that I was her girlfriend. She was very proud and we had a great day together.

Transition Period/Send Cards!

The move from Park Terrace to Northeast Center for Special Care went well on Monday. It was a beautiful day for a ride and so I packed up all that had accumulated in Sam's room...and we said goodbye to everyone who had cared for her at Park Terrace. Sam seemed excited for a change and when we got to Northeast Center and into her new room, she was really happy. She did a thumbs up for me about the place and then we slowly began to meet the team that will be working with Sam over the next few months to come. Over the course of about two hours, about twenty different people came in to say hello to us and to begin evaluating Sam. It will be a two week evaluation period before Sam's schedule is finally set and they lay out the short-term and long-term goals with me. It was also nice on Monday to reconnect with Bill and Joan, and their son Joe who is staying at the Center. They brought Sam a wonderful welcoming gift that I've put-up on her wall... a poster that I think Bill Clinton's campaign used, of a working woman with her arm flexed saying something like we can do it...or let's get to work (I'm forgetting the exact saying at the moment). When I left Sam late on Monday night, she seemed quite happy. However, this evening when I called to find out how her day went, I was told that she was crying a lot during the day...this of course upset me a great deal, as I can not easily run out (its a two hour drive) to see her and to comfort her. However I talked with her on the phone and she seemed to be okay. It is certainly a transition period for Sam, as she has only known Park Terrace since she has become "aware". I'm sure she is scared of her new surroundings and all of the new people. Their approach is almost completely opposite of what Park Terrace and most nursing/rehab. facilities offer. I called back again this evening and it seems like Sam calmed down a bit. I spoke at length with the nurse on duty and she explained that Sam has to find her own way around (I myself was confused on Monday at the Center and got lost a number of times just walking around the facility..I can't imagine how Sam is managing). They are all about having the individuals make their own choices, which eventually helps them to become more independent. For example, tonight the nurse was not sure where Sam was...and I said "what are you talking about" and she said well they allow all the patients to wander as they please to the various locations on both floors. Apparently Sam followed the medication nurse around for awhile but has not gone to far astray. The nurse looked around for me and said that she saw Sam in the main room with the big screen TV. Apparently the "Neighbors" (that is what they call all of the patients at NEcare Center) need to maneuver themselves around...what a challenge for Sam, who has not done that at all at Park Terrace and has had everything planned for her and people to push her wheelchair everywhere she needs to go. What a change to have to make up your own mind about things, find your way around and push yourself...no wonder why Sam was crying today! I know deep down that this is a good thing, and that is why I wanted her to be NE Center..they are progressive and have great results, but the transition period must be hell for Sam.

I would ask that anyone reading this blog, to please send Sam a card or some words to make her feel welcome in her new surroundings....I think she is going to need all the extra support right now. The new address for sending cards is:

Attn: Sandra (SAM) Morris, Room # 2-430, NorthEast Center for Special Care, 300 Grant Avenue, Lake Katrine, New York 12449

Just Hanging Out

This weekend marked the one year anniversary of Sam's catastrophic event. I've tried to look at it as just another weekend, but it is a time marker and was certainly an emotional one for me. Sam however has made amazing progress over the last year and I hope and pray that she will continue to do so. I will be moving her tomorrow to a new facility called Northeast Center for Special Care in Kingston, New York. They are supposed to be progressive in their approach to therapy and they focus on healing through the arts. Sam will be kept busy all day and her therapy will be integrated throughout. There is also a beautiful glass enclosed art studio and separate music studio. Art work is up everywhere you look and they call themselves the anti-nursing home. I tired to prepare Sam this weekend for the transition and she seemed to be okay with it. Sam was definitely doing well this weekend, and when I asked her what she wanted to do on Saturday, she just said, "hang out with you." If it wasn't for her repeating the same words over and over again, I would say she is doing well. Over the nine months Sam has been at Park Terrace, I have made some very close friends and connections to people there. It is hard to say good bye to them, since you have such an understanding of what you are each going through, seeing each other care for your loved ones day in and day out and understanding all the set-backs that have occurred for all of us over the course of the nine months. I will be staying in touch with a number of people for whom I've become especially close but it was still hard to pack-up Sam's things tonight and say goodbye. The journey continues.

Love

Sam's awareness level has definitely improved overall and the report from Jenny at Park Terrace this past week also confirmed that she is at the best she has been, in terms of awareness. On Friday evening she said the most wonderful, loving words to me before we said goodnight to each other. I told her that I was going to take her home for the weekend and that her friends would visit, and she said, "no- just you me and the cats" and then smiled at me. That is our definition of home, so I was very touched by her words. She also asked that I take care of myself and to get home safely. She said she wants to protect me. This weekend when she was home, she was doing quite well on Saturday, both physically and mentally. Wendy and Aileen helped Sam walk around the house for about 5-10 minutes and that was just great. She also joked a lot with us and in general was very alert. On Sunday, I made sure it was just me, Sam and the cats.