Valentines Day

Last year at this time Sam had just left St. Joseph's hospital after 3 months and had arrived at Mount Sinai's Brain Trauma unit a couple of days earlier. She had not yet started to speak, was still on oxygen and had a trach. I remember picking-up some roses at a cart downstairs from Mount Sinai- knowing at the time it was more for me than for Sam. Sam was not very aware last February 14th, so I can't help but notice the great contrast this year, although it is all relative. Sam and I spent a very loving but quite Valentines day together yesterday. Sam appreciated the card I gave her and even started crying a little bit. The card was made by one of the "neighbors" in a printmaking class at the facility and some of the proceeds go to the individual artist and the rest to the facility. Sam was in her non-speaking mode for the full day and was very sleepy. Although she had her eyes closed, she was aware, unlike last year, and held my hand, kissing and hugging me periodically throughout the day. We just kind of hung out all day. I let Sam pick-out some music for the afternoon and Sam chose a Josephine Baker tape that seemed quite appropriate for Valentines Day. I asked Sam to translate the French songs for me, but she just smiled at me, knowingly. I knew she understood the words but it was just too hard for her to tell me all. I had also brought Sam's large digital camera for her, and she quickly snapped some photo's - rather intuitively, then shut the camera off, put the flash down and handed it back to me. She was not in the mood for picture taking, although what she snapped was pretty good. As always it was hard to leave her when it came time to say goodbye. She was slumped over in her wheelchair out in the large "living-room" type area near the nursing station. I just kissed the back of her neck which was exposed, wishing her a good week. She nodded and raised her hand to wave goodbye, all the time keeping her eyes closed and head slumped.