I never do know what to expect when I walk into the NorthEast Care Center every Saturday morning, after taking a very long deep breath before entering. Will Sam be in a good state, or not. How cognitive will she be...will she be talking this weekend or will she be quiet. If she is talking, will she be confused and talking about crazy things or will she be talking clearly. Will she be spitting out all her food and the staff worried about her or will she be content and eating well. Some weekends all of the above occur, while on other occasions, Sam's state leans more in one direction or the other. Patience and faith I am told, that's what this injury is all about for the family members, patience and faith.
This weekend leaned in an overall good direction. One constant for Sam and I is the love we share. When I arrived Sam always gets emotional and Saturday morning was no exception. She hugged me for a long time and then said "I want to hold onto you forever". The rest of the morning however, Sam kept very quiet with her eyes closed. We did have a therapy session with Carolyn, the occupational therapist and so Sam and I worked together for an hour. I was actually very impressed with how strong Sam has gotten and that Carolyn now has Sam doing sit-ups. Sam never was able to do sit-ups when she was well, so this is a fairly major accomplishment. The sit-ups help Sam's trunk control, which is getting much better. Sam and I then went to lunch, where Sam proceeded to spit-up everything she touched. I tried not to get upset and figured tomorrow is another day. Sam and I then proceeded to "Inner Art" class, where Sam was doing well until Dahlia asked everyone if they wanted to work on hearts in preparation for valentines day. Sam said yes, and so Dahlia drew her a heart on the painting she was working on (with Sam's permission)and tried to get Sam to paint inside the heart. Sam became very upset and frustrated and yelled out that she couldn't do it. Dahlia later explained that she was testing Sam a bit with structure to see what level she was working at and was very sorry to have gotten her so upset. She sees that Sam is doing free-form work and needs to continue to do so for awhile. Dahlia was still terrific through it all in the way that she talked with Sam about her emotions and explained the situation to us. Sunday was a better day for Sam. We both sang to the B52's, and Sam asked me to bring her the largest camera in the world. I told her I'd look into that for her. We then looked through the Howard Hibbard book on the MMA's collection together. I started talking to Sam about some of the art works and she said kindly to me "I don't need to know the things I studied and already know" - wow. There is also always a moment of wow on the weekends with Sam and this was it. She really recognized and understood the art, and didn't need me talking to her about it. The fact she could express herself in this way was great. At lunch on Sunday, Sam ate everything and even asked for more. The CNA's also told me a story about Sam that occurred during the week. - Apparently everyone was in the dining room and Shane was making a lot of noise at the back table (Shane can't talk, but manages to vocalize quite well). Sam got disturbed, so she took her sneakers off and threw them at Shane. I was kind of shocked to hear the story, but everyone who told me thought it was quite amusing and I figured that it was a good sign that Sam can take her sneakers off herself, as this is one of the constant tasks performed in occupational therapy. In the afternoon we sat out in the "living-room" area with the football game on the big TV screen. As the "neighbors" started to gather in the living room, much to my amazement, Sam looked and me and said "you can go now.. you can go home". She wasn't happy about saying this, but I could see she was doing it for me. I gave Sam a big hug and told her I'd see her next week.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
Update
Sam spent 1-1/2 hours in "Inner Art" class on Saturday focused the whole time on her acrylic painting. It was the first time that Sam really was looking at the whole page and composition. She was able to ask for what she needed from both the therapist, Dahlia and myself, so for instance she requested the color yellow, and water for her brushes and more different size brushes. It was as if a team of assistants were at her side, helping her creative process all along the way. Towards the end of the class, Dahlia set-aside 15 minutes for everyone to share their work for a critique. Everyone in the class participated and it was quite a wonderful experience. I wish the class were available to Sam everyday, but it is only on weekends. I put Sam's work up in her room, and there is now a nice display of her paintings and of her progress.
Last week I met with all of Sam's therapists and doctors for a conference and overall review. I was told that she is making progress but it is very slow. They spoke about every aspect of her day and broke down each area that needed focusing on. She was upgraded to the next level group speech class because they thought she was getting bored with the one she was currently enrolled. The therapists all work together so well and talk so passionately about Sam that I felt much relieved afterwards, and comforted by the fact that she is truly in the best place imaginable for her injury. They also all love working with Sam and talked about how her humor comes shining through in the classes. The speech therapist Meghan, spoke with me afterwards and said that Sam is terrific to work with and explained in a little more detail as to how she orients her each day and how they do one/on one intensive work.
Yesterday, Wendy and Aileen visited and it really had an impact on Sam, who has been very isolated in the facility, since she only sees me as part of her other life. She really shifted and for the couple of hours that her friends were visiting, Sam and I became a couple again. Sam made sure that I offered Wendy and Aileen the strawberries that she was eating, as if we were playing host in our house to our friends. Sam also became very afficionate with me in front of them and in the old fashioned way we used to interact before her injury. Afterwards, Sam was exhausted by expending so much energy and I think grappling with her two worlds (as am I); her new friends and environment at the facility and then me, and her friends, representing her connection to her other life. Sam needs to see more people from her past, but I understand how difficult it is to journey up to Lake Katrine, Kingston for the day. I could tell she was still grappling with it all when I left, but know that she will manage to handle it well, especially with all the help from the amazing staff at NECSC.
Last week I met with all of Sam's therapists and doctors for a conference and overall review. I was told that she is making progress but it is very slow. They spoke about every aspect of her day and broke down each area that needed focusing on. She was upgraded to the next level group speech class because they thought she was getting bored with the one she was currently enrolled. The therapists all work together so well and talk so passionately about Sam that I felt much relieved afterwards, and comforted by the fact that she is truly in the best place imaginable for her injury. They also all love working with Sam and talked about how her humor comes shining through in the classes. The speech therapist Meghan, spoke with me afterwards and said that Sam is terrific to work with and explained in a little more detail as to how she orients her each day and how they do one/on one intensive work.
Yesterday, Wendy and Aileen visited and it really had an impact on Sam, who has been very isolated in the facility, since she only sees me as part of her other life. She really shifted and for the couple of hours that her friends were visiting, Sam and I became a couple again. Sam made sure that I offered Wendy and Aileen the strawberries that she was eating, as if we were playing host in our house to our friends. Sam also became very afficionate with me in front of them and in the old fashioned way we used to interact before her injury. Afterwards, Sam was exhausted by expending so much energy and I think grappling with her two worlds (as am I); her new friends and environment at the facility and then me, and her friends, representing her connection to her other life. Sam needs to see more people from her past, but I understand how difficult it is to journey up to Lake Katrine, Kingston for the day. I could tell she was still grappling with it all when I left, but know that she will manage to handle it well, especially with all the help from the amazing staff at NECSC.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
A New Year
I arrived early on New Year's day and Sam and I were wearing the same rust colored corduroy shirts. We looked like twins and people thought we looked very cute together. It is the last thing Sam and I would ever have wanted to be called "cute", but somehow, on New Year's Day 2010 in the Northeast Care Center, it was okay. All morning out in the main hallway, there was a DJ spinning albums, with the neighbors playing drums and singing into microphones. The neighbors and family members were all there having a great time... including Sam and I. The DJ knew Sam and so asked her for a request....Sam, was unable on her own to come-up with any names, so the DJ handed me a Queen album and said Sam had been singing along the other day to some of the songs...so she should pick one out. I worked with Sam who deferred to me on this (not a great idea), and so I choose the Champions...knowing it would be a good theme song for us all, but one in which, in retrospect, Sam would never have chosen. Sam would have wanted a grittier more ironic song, but so be it. The audience loved the song and that was what the DJ ended on at noon. Feeling inspired, Sam wanted to go paint, but unfortunately Dahlia and "Inner Art" was no where to be found on New Year's Day or the day after. We did take a long stroll around the facility and entertained ourselves with other activities.
New Year's weekend with Sam was lovely and she was in great spirits, which was in stark contrast to the weekend before at Christmas time. It was just wonderful to see Sam hysterical laughing in Occupational Therapy or with me throughout the day. Sam and I played Wii bowling in the clubhouse for a couple of hours and even though I had to help Sam coordinate the pressing of the buttons, swinging her arm and releasing the button all in one motion, Sam loved it. She did manage it herself a few times, but it was not easy. I also raced Sam in her wheelchair down the hall- I would walk fast and she would wheel herself. Sam won every time. We quite amused ourselves and were also in a rather passionate mood. Some of the neighbors are confused as to my relationship to Sam and continually ask me...am I her mother...her sister? They can't figure out why we are kissing so often and why Sam holds onto me so much. Identity politics for the brain injured community is a fascinating topic I'm sure, but I hate that I am in the middle of it. I can't believe that Sam has needed to be confronted with "coming-out" and all related identity issues here in Northeast Care Center. She had to do it at Park Terrace and now, here again. I too have been confronted with these issues of course, first in the hospital/s then Park Terrace and now here. It is quite frankly speaking a royal pain and added burden.
In occupational therapy, the therapist asked Sam and I to do things together, like weight lifting...I realized very quickly that I am totally out of shape and that Sam has much better upper body strength than I do (this was always the case however). One of the activities was holding a one-pound plastic baseball bat, lifting it up and down to hit a beach ball that Sam was throwing at me. We took turns throwing the beach ball at each other and using the bat....Sam had no trouble, while I on the other hand did. We also kicked a big therapy ball around and other such games. I really enjoyed doing these things with Sam and I know she did too. We ended our weekend by watching National Lampoon's European Vacation with Chevy Chase on the TV in the main lounge area near Sam's room. We both laughed out loud as Chevy Chase's character knocked over Stonehenge with his car. It was a good way to wind-up the weekend and start what I hope will be a healing and peaceful New Year.
New Year's weekend with Sam was lovely and she was in great spirits, which was in stark contrast to the weekend before at Christmas time. It was just wonderful to see Sam hysterical laughing in Occupational Therapy or with me throughout the day. Sam and I played Wii bowling in the clubhouse for a couple of hours and even though I had to help Sam coordinate the pressing of the buttons, swinging her arm and releasing the button all in one motion, Sam loved it. She did manage it herself a few times, but it was not easy. I also raced Sam in her wheelchair down the hall- I would walk fast and she would wheel herself. Sam won every time. We quite amused ourselves and were also in a rather passionate mood. Some of the neighbors are confused as to my relationship to Sam and continually ask me...am I her mother...her sister? They can't figure out why we are kissing so often and why Sam holds onto me so much. Identity politics for the brain injured community is a fascinating topic I'm sure, but I hate that I am in the middle of it. I can't believe that Sam has needed to be confronted with "coming-out" and all related identity issues here in Northeast Care Center. She had to do it at Park Terrace and now, here again. I too have been confronted with these issues of course, first in the hospital/s then Park Terrace and now here. It is quite frankly speaking a royal pain and added burden.
In occupational therapy, the therapist asked Sam and I to do things together, like weight lifting...I realized very quickly that I am totally out of shape and that Sam has much better upper body strength than I do (this was always the case however). One of the activities was holding a one-pound plastic baseball bat, lifting it up and down to hit a beach ball that Sam was throwing at me. We took turns throwing the beach ball at each other and using the bat....Sam had no trouble, while I on the other hand did. We also kicked a big therapy ball around and other such games. I really enjoyed doing these things with Sam and I know she did too. We ended our weekend by watching National Lampoon's European Vacation with Chevy Chase on the TV in the main lounge area near Sam's room. We both laughed out loud as Chevy Chase's character knocked over Stonehenge with his car. It was a good way to wind-up the weekend and start what I hope will be a healing and peaceful New Year.
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