Sam's Story

"Sam Morris Therapeutic Narrative February 2010" is what I discovered in Sam's binder this weekend. Meghan, her speech therapist would have worked with her on the narrative. I asked Sam if she would share her story with me, and she was happy to do so. Sam read the full page out loud. Afterwards, I asked Sam if I could share part of her story with her friends on this blog site and she said "yes". I am just going to excerpt a few sections from the beginning and the end of her story. It is all very moving and inspirational: "My name is Sam Morris. I am here today to tell a story. A story about myself. I am 48 years old. Last year I had a heart problem that left me with a brain injury. Now I am at the Northeast Center for Special Care in Lake Katrine, NY for rehabilitation. I am working on improving my memory and the way that I process information. Also, my balance has been affected.....Occasionally when I talk I forget to use my voice. I am trying not to whisper, but to talk loud enough for everyone to hear me...... I get tired easily, and sometimes feel overwhelmed. When this happens, I should ask for a break. I can stop and rest whenever I feel the need to..... My goal is to become more independent so that I can go home. I want to be more musical, I want to grow my art and I have thought about writing poetry and am starting a project to write about my photographs. I am getting better every day. I am intelligent and strong and motivated to continue to improve. I have the love and support of all my friends, who are rooting for me everyday. I believe in myself and will work hard and participate in my therapies so that I can get back to it!" It was great to talk with Sam about her story and I love that the therapist works with Sam in this way. Another highlight Saturday morning was that the physical therapist came by and had Sam walk around the entire floor on a low walker. I walked behind Sam the whole way with the wheelchair for when she needed to sit down for a break. She did really well. I have never seen her walk on a low walker before, so it was a real treat. She has definitely gotten much stronger and she stands up straight now, which is also very good. Each time she would sit down to rest I would give her a little kiss on her cheek and she would break into a gigantic smile. It was great. Sam also painted for an hour in Inner Art class that afternoon and she and I just joked around a lot. When I was taking her to the class one of the aides, asked if I was her sister (this is a common question that I get all the time). I told her I was her partner, etc. which was fine. When Sam and I were on the elevator by ourselves I said to Sam "at least she didn't ask if I was your mother". Sam cracked-up at this and at many other such jokes that went back and forth throughout the day. On Sunday morning, I arrived very early, early enough for breakfast for the first time ever and caught Sam finishing-up pancakes, bananas, yogurt and a mighty shake. Wow! that was a lot of food and I was thrilled to see her eating so well. I knew that it was going to be another good day, which it was. Sam was very much Sam on Sunday, meaning that she wanted to look at her camera and to listen to PJ Harvey and just relax. It was truly a lovely weekend.

Feeling Hopeful

Although not much has changed visibly from last weekend to this one, somehow I feel that Sam's cognition has gone up a notch or two and plateaued for now. The healing and recovery process is VERY slow. It is not hours or days, but rather months and years. One of the neighbors on Sam's unit complemented Sam on Saturday for remembering her name and she, Bridget, told me that Sam was doing well. I later befriended Bridget's sister and had a long conversation about all that they have been through and about the recovery process in general. Bridget is actually doing quite well and is on her way to becoming independent. Bridget has been in rehabilitation one year longer than Sam. Their brain injuries are quite similar, although Sam's is a bit more severe. My conversation however did provide continued hope for the future.
Sam was in a good mood this weekend although she had caught a 24 hour virus earlier in the week that had been making its way through the facility. She joked with me about KD Lang...yes, I brought in a KD Lang tape to play for Sam just because I figured that she would automatically know all the words to all her songs (she did). Sam's humor however came out with the music as she feigned sadness at one of the songs and started rubbing her eyes as if she were crying. - I started to tell Sam that she didn't need to be upset - that it was only a song...and Sam then gave me that mischievous look of hers and started laughing, saying she got me. I also brought in a laptop computer but could not get on the Internet with it. Sam however was fascinated with the computer and all of my attempts to get online. Sam tried to direct me, but I could not quite follow it all. I knew that Sam was trying to tell me what I had to do, but that I just could not figure it out. I will have to bring in a computer for her permanently, as she really perked up when we were playing with it.

Valentines Day

Last year at this time Sam had just left St. Joseph's hospital after 3 months and had arrived at Mount Sinai's Brain Trauma unit a couple of days earlier. She had not yet started to speak, was still on oxygen and had a trach. I remember picking-up some roses at a cart downstairs from Mount Sinai- knowing at the time it was more for me than for Sam. Sam was not very aware last February 14th, so I can't help but notice the great contrast this year, although it is all relative. Sam and I spent a very loving but quite Valentines day together yesterday. Sam appreciated the card I gave her and even started crying a little bit. The card was made by one of the "neighbors" in a printmaking class at the facility and some of the proceeds go to the individual artist and the rest to the facility. Sam was in her non-speaking mode for the full day and was very sleepy. Although she had her eyes closed, she was aware, unlike last year, and held my hand, kissing and hugging me periodically throughout the day. We just kind of hung out all day. I let Sam pick-out some music for the afternoon and Sam chose a Josephine Baker tape that seemed quite appropriate for Valentines Day. I asked Sam to translate the French songs for me, but she just smiled at me, knowingly. I knew she understood the words but it was just too hard for her to tell me all. I had also brought Sam's large digital camera for her, and she quickly snapped some photo's - rather intuitively, then shut the camera off, put the flash down and handed it back to me. She was not in the mood for picture taking, although what she snapped was pretty good. As always it was hard to leave her when it came time to say goodbye. She was slumped over in her wheelchair out in the large "living-room" type area near the nursing station. I just kissed the back of her neck which was exposed, wishing her a good week. She nodded and raised her hand to wave goodbye, all the time keeping her eyes closed and head slumped.

Care Team Report

Sam has now been in Rehabilitation programs for one-year. The progress she has made in this time-period is astounding. There is simply no comparison to where she was a year ago at Mount Sinai to where she is now. It has been three months since she has transitioned to the Northeast Center for Special Care and we had our monthly review yesterday afternoon. I received a great report on Sam. The report measured her progress from the month before and on all counts Sam has improved. Most importantly, all the therapists have noticed that she is now able to advocate for herself. It is just a start, but she will at times have strong opinions on various topics; "NO, I do not want to go to therapy today" - the therapists listen to her when she says no; "I need a break" she says in her speech class. These are very good signs. Also, Sam seems to have taken control of her peseveration issues; i.e. her repeating of words and ideas has lessened. She is more in control and is speaking outloud more instead of just mouthing words. Her attention span has also increased- in speech therapy Meghan had been only able to work with her for about 10 minutes at a time and then take a long break, now however, just in the last month, that has increased to 30 minutes at a time. This is very good. In occupational therapy, they have changed her therapist to someone who will solely work with her a few times a day on what is called ADL's- or activities of daily living....putting clothes on, washing your hands/face, eating, etc. They think at this moment that this change will be the most effective for Sam. Her eating still is problematic but they say it is a function of her cognitive levels...when she is more aware she will eat well and recognize the food as food, but when she is less aware, the food is not really identifiable as food, so Sam she will spit it out or be unclear as to what purpose it serves. She loves her mighty shakes, and those keep her weight on, so they are not concerned about her erratic eating behaviors. Also, Sam now attends a "body and mind" class a few days a week, which focuses on breathing exercises and Tai Chi. I was thrilled to hear this since Sam had been taking Tai Chi classes in Chinatown on her own, back when she was well. They will try to work into her scheudle some more painting classes as well as trying out a printmaking and jewerly making class. Overall, the director of the program said that by all reports Sam was making great progress and they were very pleased.

A Great Day

This weekend started off poorly as Sam was very emotional, crying a lot and said she missed me terribly. Sam just wanted me to take her home and kept asking me to do so. She was also confused and talking about things from her past that seemed to be happening in the present. In stark contrast to Saturday, however, Sunday was the best I have seen Sam- period. I could tell immediately on Sunday morning that she was in a totally different state. When I arrived, Sam was sitting out in the living room area, with a bunch of the other "neighbors" and when I went to greet her and said "Hi Sam" she said "Hi Marcie" back to me which is actually very unusual, because she usually repeats what you say and normally would say "Hi Sam"back. Then very pointedly she asked "How are you? I told her I was doing well and she said "good - I worry about you". This was actually a rare conversation and of course one that showed how much she was thinking and caring about me. It was very touching.
The other neighbors whom I've come to know very well, all came up to me and wanted me to know what Sam did on Friday night. Apparently, after dinner, the physical therapist came by with a special walking machine, and had Sam walk around the whole top floor of the facility. The neighbors told me that they were all amazed at how well Sam did and they were encouraging her to keep going. They said she moved fast and didn't mess-up her footing. I told Sam how proud I was of her and she seemed to be beaming. It was also quite moving that the neighbors all care so much about Sam and are rallying around her wanting to see her do well. Another neighbor, Jonathan, wheeled up to me a little bit later and said that I should record my voice for Sam so that during the week she wouldn't be so lonely and I could encourage her to eat. He said the nurses could play the tape for Sam periodically so that she could just be comforted by my voice. Again, I almost teared up at how concerned Jonathan was for Sam and how much his suggestion made sense. I had brought food with me as usual this weekend and Sam ate everything on Sunday. She even ate all of her lunch which was unusual. Eating is a factor of her awareness level and Sam was the most aware I've seen her. I was also shocked by Sam's short term memory. I had brought the newspaper with me and showed Sam the book review page with Patti Smith and Robert Mapplethorpe on the cover. Later in the day Sam wanted to see some more of the paper, so I took out the book review again (this was about 3 hours later) and Sam said to me..."you already showed this to me ...I want to see something new". - Wow! That was really the first time I've experienced her short-term memory coming back. Later on in the day, I played Annie Lenox's greatest hits and Sam knew almost all the words to all the songs and sang it out loud. Sam was talking and singing clearly all day. What an absolute treat. I didn't want to leave on Sunday night because I was not sure when I would see so much of Sam coming through again. When I did go to say goodbye to Sam, she looked and me and said, "oh, am I coming with you?" ....and as my heart broke and I told her not now sweetie, another time, she seemed okay with that answer. My favorite medication nurse, Michelle gave me a big hug good bye, as she had witnessed both the trouble on Saturday with Sam and then the exact opposite on Sunday. She understood on a very deep level the emotional toll such a weekend takes on a person. There are some amazing people at the Northeast Care Center, and Sam is slowly healing, surrounded by them all.